Celebrity Xing

Paris Hilton accused of spreading ‘vicious lies’. I *so* wanted the sub head under this to be something like, “File Under : Slow News Day” or “From Our ‘No Shit’ Bureau in Obviousville, OH”. No such luck. I loved the quote from her “publicist” :

“I can assure you that when all of the facts are revealed in this matter, they will show that the victim is, in fact, Paris Hilton,” Hilton’s spokesman said.

I’d love to get to say lines like that as part of my job. “I feel when all the chips are down and all the evidence has been weighed, we will see that it was indeed Mr. Lennon who stepped in front of the bullet, totally exonerating my client.” Celebrity is like kudzu choking meaning out of so much of our cultural landscape. Paris Hilton is a culturally meaningless figure and yet she has an army of publicists working around the clock to make every dumb thing she does seem like the act of a loving saint.

I’m not jealous of whatever it is we’re supposed to believe she has; rather, I’m anxious to live in a world where things like this don’t necessarily wind up on the front page of a huge news outlet’s website. Go ahead and run the story–just put it in the bored housewives section, well away from the updates on the health of the Israeli prime minister. Save yourselves at least that *scrap* of dignity.

The amateur sociologist in me can’t help but tie national obsessions with celebrities to large upticks in conservativism; to wit: in the heyday of the Reagan administration Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous enjoyed quite a reign, reminding us of the virtues of following your unbridled capitalist urges to their fullest extent. LOTR&F dovetailed neatly into Entertainment Tonight, which was essentially more of the same for the first Bush generation. The only real difference was that is was packaged like real news. But with Clinton’s election came a break in our national preoccupation with the idle rich. Suddenly there was a world out there beyond our own borders.

But now that Bush II is at the helm, and we’re feeling more isolated than we have in many years, the celebrity “journalists” are in full swing dishing on every bit player and Hollywood construct they can find. I guess if there really is a pattern here it isn’t anything new; during World War II our fascination with celebrities was peaking. But the difference between then and now is attitude–Paris Hilton behaves as though she somehow deserves this adulation, as opposed to a Zsa Zsa Gabor for instance–who, even when she was slapping cops, would never pretend that her antics were something we couldn’t live without. But what reason have we given to Hilton to make her think otherwise? The adulation machine is humming right along side her when she dumps drinks on hapless jet setters, or dumps cash on her little dog.

The avenues of authenticity and humility make up an intersection that we sometimes refer to as reality; at their crossroads celebrity can often occur. The celebrities of today need to be much more mindful of the fact that when the light changes on that intersection, it’s time to go–if you don’t, you’re merely blocking traffic. And as a nation of onlookers we need to learn that rubbernecking is both rude and unbecoming.

Wireless iPod? If there’s a patent, Jonathan Ive can make it beautiful. Perhaps we’ll know tomorrow.

At Foggy Bottom station everyone is blinking their way into the sunlight. I’m on my way down and in, back to U Street and my friends’ beautiful apartment. I feel “free”, in that corny way that they must mean in the soap commercials and the car ads; I’ve had such a wonderful time here that I can’t think about coming back because I can’t yet think about leaving. The next few months are going to fly by faster than I can possibly imagine. Even the 28th will be here practically overnight. The landscape of that timespan is littered with dozens of emails, books, records, running sessions and songwriting; shows, searches for a decent meal, driving, phone calls, new places and photographs.
Right now is a fantastic time to be alive, to be an open receptor for all of this fun and adventure and newness. It’s also a wonderful time to glance at my calendar every now and then.