The Gospel Of Judas

And in that time a decree did go out that Jesus of Nazareth shall be brought before Pilate. And he did say unto his disciples ‘One of you will betray me.’ And he did motion unto Judas and say, ‘Dude, can I talk to you in private for, like, two minutes?’

Judas: Yeah, what’s up?

Jesus: Um, I need you to turn me in to the Romans.

Judas: (Spitting out a mouthful of wine.) What?! Are you kidding me? They’re totally going to kill you! Do you think I want to be known as ‘the guy who sold out the son of man’? No way!

Jesus: C’mon, Judas. Don’t screw me on this. This is why I’m on Earth. I’ll tell you what: you can write all this down so everybody knows I said it was cool to sell me out. That way, history is kind to you and everyone knows you were just doing your part.

Judas: But why do I have to do it? (Looks at Jesus. Realizes he’s looking at Jesus.That Jesus. ) Ok, ok. You really think they’ll let me have my own Gospel?

Jesus: Yeah, you’re a smart guy. Why not?

Judas: I mean, it won’t be suppressed as heresy or anything?

Jesus: No, it’s totally going in the final version. Hardcover and paperback.

Judas: Well, good. I mean at least that way people won’t go around saying “Dude! You’re such a Judas!” everytime somebody sells ‘em out to the Romans, or gets a job in management by ratting them out for using the copier for personal stuff.

Jesus: See? it’s a total win/win! So, you’ll do it?

Judas: Yeah, I guess. When should I do it?

Jesus: How about after dinner?

And SCENE. I am so going to hell for this. Ah, well. Put it on my tab.

Time Magazine - Judas: For Or Friend?~

When the new Stills track “In The Beginning” starts to slow down at about 1:40, I always click over into iTunes to start it again. It’s then that I realize there’s about another :50 of goodness. What a perfectly rocking track by an honestly rocking band of delightful Canadian hipsters.

The Stills - In The Beginning ~

Just for the record, this is bullshit and has no bearing on my actual life.

On Thursday, April 13, the Full Moon in Libra lights up the skies. During the Full Moon, the issues you’ve been working on since the New Moon on March 29 will come to a climax. Pay attention to your emotions in this heightened state and you will receive great clarity. Be careful not to act hastily, though! Many people quit jobs or leave relationships, running away from patterns that could be healed with some extra effort. During Full Moons the volume gets turned up, so have courage and make positive change.

See? Total bullshit. (End sarcasm.)

Nifty collection of home made robots (with little robot heads, natch) on Flickr. ~

I like that Canadians are so goal oriented. I mean, they even tell you how much cash you must have on hand to be considered for “Skilled Worker Class Immigration”. ~

So, Boot Camp fever is sweeping the land like a wardrobe malfunction. Apple has released this nifty little app that allows Mactel machines to run Windows XP and Mac OS X on the same box. Right now, one must reboot into one or the other environment. But the big rumor is that come Leopard release time, there won’t be a need for anymore reboots. That’s because Apple is allegedly planning to add the ability to run Windows .exe files natively on the OS just as you would any Mac OS X app. And that’s big. But it’s also a little scary. Not only does this mean Mac users get to explore the other seventy-five percent of the CompUSA; it also means saying hello to virii, malware, zombie ware and all the other lovely little perks of running Windows on a Dell box. I guess you take the good with the bad, yes? Perhaps the wildest thing of all is that AAPL gained over $4 yesterday–a seven percent gain just by announcing your customers can run Windows. So here’s a clearing house of Boot Camp stuff for nerds like me, or regular people with difficulty sleeping.

Walt Mossberg: Boot Camp “historic” and “huge”
eWeek Review : Boot Camp Beta
Cabel Sasser: First look and Half Life 2
NY Times: Apple Allows Windows on Its Machines
PCWorld: First Look, Pants Pooping

The moral of the story? Bill Gates needs to be glad he had the time in the spotlight that he did, cause Apple is finally chowing down on his lunch. ~

This Is Not Sex: A Web Essay on the Male Gaze, Fashion Advertising, and the Pose. If you read this all the way through you will never thumb throught a magazine the same way again. ~

Spring is busting out all over

I finally got my Google Analytics code. It’s just one of many that I’m waiting on for various things. So, rock my website so I have some stuff to analyze, umkay? K. ~

Too soon. That’s what a theatre full of New Yorkers shouted at the screen after seeing the trailer for Flight 93. I have a reputation for being a bit of a crank about 9/11. I think it shone a light on what’s wrong with America as a country, and gave us a valuable opportunity to truly stand together with the world against something really despicable. Instead, we used it as an excuse to become even more insular and isolationist. Now we’re even wiretapping ourselves.
Even with such a pragmatic approach to the whole thing I had a very visceral reaction to this. I think a lot of time will need to pass before we can even begin to see this as fodder for commercially released films, and even more time before we know anything that approaches the truth about what really happened that day. Add this to the fact that Universal Pictures is going to donate ten percent of the first three days gross to the Flight 93 Memorial Fund and you’ve got a real yucky situation. Three whole days, huh? Wow. How much did you guys make last year? Oh, yeah. How generous. ~

I wish I had some links to post, but I don’t. This is mostly just a complaint. I’m watching a lot of baseball tonight since it’s opening night. This means being subjected to lots of ads aimed at a male demo graphic. One such ad is the new one from Hardees, and it simply has to be stopped. They feature dimwitted characters stuffing their faces, a VO from someone who sounds stoned, and close-mic audio of chewing noises. They’re the sort of commercials that make you have to wonder if the advertising agency secretly hates the client; I think that a few more viewings of this stuff and I’ll swear meat off for good. Please make it stop. ~

Massive, epic guide to home recording techniques. The way I see it, if you love music enough eventually you will want to make music. Here’s a good start. Musical talent not included. ~

Amazon has a list of 50 SXSW bands to watch. Some of these are quite good. I had no idea Beth Orton and The Pretenders were at SXSW. I’m really looking forward to this People In Planes record, too; their Joaquin Phoenix directed video is good stuff and they’re Welsh, so everybody wins. ~

So Courtney Love is so “overwhelmed” by managing the rights to the Nirvana catalog that she’s sold a huge chunk of it off so it can be used on Toyota commercials and the like. Wow. From the neo-Yoko herself:

“I took on a strategic partner, Larry Mestel, to help me comanage the estate because it was overwhelming,” Love said. “The affairs of Nirvana are so massive and so huge, and they’ve all fallen on my lap.”

Well, Courtney, Kris and Dave–actual MEMBERS of the band in question–would have loved to help manage things. But since they only have a measly 2% to split between them they were a bit powerless to help. The fact is you need something to pay your mounting coke bill, and your rehab bill, and your coke bill, and your rehab bill. And what better cash cow than the rights to some of the best rock songs ever written, by a band whose leader shunned commercial success to the point of death. Grrr. Yeah, Courtney, strategic partners are SO rock and roll. ~

“I” for “incomplete”

I’m feeling some inertia here lately, at the close of this job and having arrived back at zero with all my other plans. It’s made me examine my “career path” and my aptitudes really closely, trying to discover if continuing in this line of work is really what I need to do. I have a problem with not finishing things. My recent redesign was compensation for that fact, as parts of the site had stayed incomplete for a long time. I found that by tackling it in little pieces I was able to get to a good place with it. But the problem goes on, and I struggle with it all the time. It’s a problem I’m not sure how to fix. Lately I’ve been using everything at hand to make notes about telephone calls and important dates, trying to force myself into better work habits. My hope is that better work habits will create better non-working habits.
I’ve recently remembered an episode in my teenage life wherein I convinced my parents that I wanted to work on a shrimp boat over the summer. I’d become obsessed with finishing something–anything–and I thought maybe brutal labor was the solution. I was stumped to find any good reason why so many things in my life would go half done, like my school work and even many of my art projects. In the end I had a long talk with my parents and the notion was dispelled.
Now, at 27, I’m trying to apply the same logic to my problems. I told my brother I’d been thinking about getting some laborious job, to try and cut through the clutter of my current life and get down to some simple truth about myself that would “set me free.” What he said was that labor is just labor. I’d hate my co-workers and be tempted to quit within a few days. I’d be back where I’d been–staring at my problems all over again, having learned nothing. And he’s right.
So I’ve been trying to focus not merely on things that make me happy, but things that I finish. Completing a task makes me prouder than using any gift I have. I love cooking a meal, from buying the ingredients to washing the pots and pans. I love making a logo, from selecting the type to outputting the PDFs. I love long trips in the car where I don’t get lost and the iPod’s battery outlasts the mileage. All these are things I complete, and end well until I’m ready to take them up again. My life has been a collection of incompletes, and as a result I feel incomplete. I demand the same consideration as anyone else, but I haven’t done the work. I feel like this is a tremendous revelation but I have nowhere to go with it. Even my self improvement is incomplete, I guess.
I think for tonight making it to the bottom of this entry, and to the end of this list of thoughts, will be enough. But for the rest of my life there has to be something more. Seeking purpose and finishing the things I start have to be my sole purposes in life. Others had to learn these lessons and did so in very different ways. It’s up to me alone to do this, without any outside help. No teachers, no bosses–this is the bed I’ve made, and I’m ready to sleep in it. ~

HE’S A REAL DOCTOR! I’m not a doctor! I’m only five years old! Seriusly warped and hilarious. (via MeFi) ~

There are a lot of rock bands–even so-called “indie” bands–that I would not be surprised to hear on a commercial. Any of the “The” bands springs to mind. But Spoon? On a Jaguar commercial? Wow. I never saw that coming. But there it was, “I Turn My Camera On”–from the fantastic “Gimme Fiction”–playing while Beautiful People drove around in Jaguars. I wonder if anyone in the target demographic knows who Spoon is?

Spoon - I Turn My Camera On ~

Pin all your romantic hopes on Google. It’s April 1st. Happy April fool’s day, and happy birthday to my old pal Reuben. Hope your party was one for the record books. ~