When George Bush declared, in response to negative feedback about the then-nascent war on terror, “you’re with us, or you’re against us,” he undoubtedly had no idea he was following in the footsteps of King Leonidas of Sparta. But as Frank Miller and the screen writers of ‘300′ would have us believe, that’s exactly what he was doing.

‘300′ is a fictionalized account of the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC, wherein Sparta (not alone mind you, but as part of a “coalition of the willing”) fought a statistically superior Persian conscript army to the death in defense of a narrow passage to Greece. In particular the film is concerned with the valor of King Leonidas and has merry band, who held the pass for three entire days before they were ultimately obliterated. The resistance, though very costly to the outnumbered Greeks, ultimately set Xerxes I up for a defeat at Plataea some years later.

This is one of the classic stories of human valor in the face of almost certain death; of the ability of a few to overcome the tyranny of the many. This story has nothing to do with homeland security, WMD’s, secret torture camps or no-fly lists; but in the darkened theatre as I watched these rippling Spartans slash their way through row upon row of hapless, Scimitar wielding Islamist extremists I was unable to avoid the parallel. Such connections are easy to draw, in a world where commercials for the Marines air in between segments of American Idol.

In one scene Leonidas’ manages to mock not only the feckless intellectuals who wish to prevent his launch of a preemptive military campaign against Persia, but also the girly Arcadians and their lack of a professional military or warrior class. One is reminded of the equally maligned French who, upon announcing they would not be attending the war Bush was throwing, were met with cries of “cheese eating surrender monkey” from ‘Mericans stuffing down plates full of ‘Freedom Fries.’

In Miller’s vision the Spartan is a fascist super man riddled with arrows, gritting his teeth to gut a few more magic carpet merchants before scaling Mount Olympus one last time. Before battle, cries of “ooh ah” fill the air, and utterances of love for the folks back home are not advised–lest you be compared to those namby pambies in the senate, with their logic and fondness for young boys.

It’s all quite a spectacle. Though the battle scenes are exhilarating and match the dynamism of the comic book quite well, it feels like watching a combination of Marine recruitment film, excerpts from Triumph of the Will, and something you’d see at a Texas Republican party fundraiser. So while I like a little violence, sexism and hyperstylized heroism just as much as the next guy I think I’ll stick to getting it from Fox News like everyone else and save the movies for escapism, not further programming from the state.