So, if you’ve had the misfortune of spending more than fifteen minutes around me lately my speech has probably sounded like the title of this post. For that, I would like to formally apologize. I had a three hour dream about the iPhone last night, a fact that actually makes me a little worried. It did make me some fried squid, in an apparent homage to the “calamari finder” television commercial.

But seriously, the iPhone fund is open for donations. I think we could make this a really funny internet meme. Like, there’ll be a picture of me looking sort of aloof and it will say, “I can has iphone?” or “My iphone: let me show you it. My iphone.” Then udnerneath a link to paypal where you can send me your dollar. It’ll be great. My poor wife–whom I have driven thoroughly insane with this quest, and who deserves the largest apology–thanks you in advance.

And probably doesn’t think this is funny at all.